How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship with Your Teenage Child?

Teens usually connect the word relationships with other people. Building and maintaining relationships with people, places, and things will help teens explore their relationships in all facets of their lives and discover which are healthy.

As parents, maintaining a healthy relationship with children when they turn into a teenager is highly challenging. Teenagers often try to keep everything to themselves and question everything around them. During this stage, they build mental blocks between themselves and their parents.

Even though maintaining a healthy relationship with your teenage child is a rollercoaster ride, you must explore all avenues to get through to them. Adolescence is when parents must understand their children’s needs, set boundaries and be actively involved. A healthy relationship can help you build a stronger relationship with your children.

Here are some ways to maintain a healthy relationship with your teenage child.

Understand what they like

Kids usually tend to like what their parents like, but as they grow and get into teenage, you must realise that your children’s needs will not always be the same. They might have liked painting when they were younger, but as they grow older, it might shift to something more. As parents, you must understand your children’s interests and act accordingly. Understanding their interests can help parents bond with their children. 

Try to spend the maximum time with your child

As parents of teenagers, you must spend maximum time with your children because the more time you spend with your children, the stronger your bond will be. This bond will be a solid foundation for effective communication, trust and understanding. Apart from that, by spending the maximum amount of time with your children, you are instilling knowledge and values such as empathy, respect and responsibility to your kids. 

Help them through their challenges.

Teenagers go through numerous changes - emotional, physical and social. These changes may also affect their emotions. During these times, they need maximum care and support from their parents. By spending more time with their children, parents can provide their children with the necessary guidance and support and help them navigate through their challenges and emotions. 

Make sure they know the boundaries.

Adolescence is a phase where children think whatever they do is correct. But, as parents, you must ensure they know their boundaries and the reason behind them. When setting boundaries, allow your child to set limits. This way, you are instilling a sense of responsibility in them. Talk to them regularly about how and why it is crucial to set boundaries and encourage them to ask questions and express their feelings and thoughts freely. 

Be an example

Show your teenagers how to respect boundaries by respecting their privacy and personal space. As parents, you must also strive to model positive behaviour in their actions, such as honesty, respect, empathy and kindness. Parents must also demonstrate certain healthy habits like exercise, proper nutrition, and stress management, which will encourage their children to start following in their footsteps. 

Let them know that success and failures are parts of life

As parents, you must make your children understand that life offers both success and failure. Ensure that you create a safe and non-judgmental environment for your children so that it may not affect them adversely even if they fail. Instead of celebrating their achievements, parents should shift their focus to recognising the efforts put in by their children. Parents can also encourage their children by telling them that failures are not lost opportunities but are experiences that lead to personal growth. 

Never demean them

Demeaning or demotivating your children can push them farther away from you. So, when they forget to do something, instead of using phrases like ‘you are useless’ or ‘you will never understand’, you can explain the importance of doing it and make sure they do it. By encouraging them, you are also building their confidence and showing them that they can do anything if they put their mind to it.

Simple Tips to Follow to Build Healthy Relationships with your Teenagers 

1. Be honest and open.
2. Be authoritative, not authoritarian, in your parenting style.
3. Think “harm reduction”, not zero tolerance.
4. Don’t believe everything you read or hear.
5. Monitor and supervise your teen’s activities with parental sensitivity.
6. Accenture the positive.
7. Encourage your teen to be involved in extracurricular activities.
8. Encourage flexibility in gender roles and behaviour.
9. Address abusive or inappropriate language with a firm and clear message.
10. Be an active participant (to a point) in your teen’s life.

Medically reviewed by Dr Sunitha MBBS, DPM (NIMHANS), DNB

Dr Sunitha serves as the Chief Psychiatrist at Agan Health Trichy. She specialises in Adult Psychiatry, and her fields of interest include consultation liaison psychiatry and women's mental health. With over 15 years of experience in the field of mental healthcare, Dr Sunitha has been instrumental in positively transforming the lives of many in Tamil Nadu. She is also a consulting psychiatrist at some of the reputed mental health institutions in Tamil Nadu.